Swole Carrot

Imagine plucking this ripe, intimidating carrot from the ground only to have it start making a play for your girl. What are you going to do about it? Nothing, that’s what.

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Hot Lips

This nasty pepper isn’t afraid of offending anyone with it’s forward advances. Picture grandma in the garden picking veggies when this pair of lips pops up and starts trying to turn grandma out.

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 Juicy Melons

If this melon was on TV it would be censored. Get this melon some panties!

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Taters

This potato looks like it’s half silicone, this is why I only buy organic.

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Racy Radishes

They say oysters are an aphrodisiac, I’ve never been turned on by checking out an oyster.

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Crude Carrots

These carrots have no chill. Like being in a men’s locker room, no one wants to see it as much as you want to show it off!

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Tropical Fruit Phallus

This is supposedly called a “choko”, though I call it a “who the hell do you think your are hanging around my backyard like that”!?

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Protruding Egg Plant

There’s poisonous plants, carnivorous plants, and plants that make me feel like half a man.

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Peter Pepper

Spicy AND demeaning!

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Arousing Apple Pear

You’d probably need a dental dam to enjoy this fruit.

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