1. They act like they’re gonna kiss you, but end up blowing stank in your face.
2. They’ll attack you in front of your friends.
3. They’ll hump you when your back is turned.
4. They steam-blast children.
5. They shove people off hillsides.
6. They spit green on your camera.
7. They’ll try to leg sweep you in a barn.
8. They’ll try to snap your neck.
9. They run from the police and endanger the community.
10. They’ll cover you in a fine mist.
11. They’re always watching.
12. They’re the primary cause of traffic jams.
13. They can look like this.
14. They’re too good for you and your quarter machine feed.
15. They probably murdered this guy.
(Disclaimer: one or two of these were alpacas)